Overcoming Sexual Abuse And Taking Steps To Prevent It From Happening To My Children

“You are an overcomer.”

These were the words spoken to me by my sister in Christ, as we prayed together last Sunday.

Although we were praying about a matter completely different from what I am about to share with you, I knew that this was God reminding me of His love and grace…

This was my Father, reminding me that with Him, no mountain was ever big enough for both of us not to be able to climb over.

I am an overcomer. But I would not be one, if it wasn’t for my Savior, my Jesus…

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Many years ago, I was molested by one of my uncles.  (He does not currently live in the U.S.)

I was an innocent seven year old girl, dreaming about a prince sweeping me off my feet to his castle one day.

This innocence was shattered the first day my uncle touched me inappropriately, and my psyche was trampled every time he managed to get me to a secluded place. The abuse continued for two years.

And although I do not remember the details, (as I have repressed the painful memories), I do remember the many years of anger, resentment, and depression, which followed me throughout the teenage years.

My heart was filled with hate towards the perpetrator of the abuse.

I was angry with my parents for not being able to prevent it, and I was angry with God for allowing this to happen to me.

I blamed God.

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And many times I screamed at Him in my mind, falling asleep on a wet pillow: “If you are so ‘powerful’ and so ‘loving,’ why would you allow this to happen to a child?!”

As the heavens were silent to my cries, I decided there was no God. And if He was there, then I wanted to have nothing to do with a god who didn’t care…

This was a victorious day for the devil. The enemy’s intent was to destroy and to kill me, a child made in God’s image, from my early years. And he was gloating in his victory that day.

I heard the enemy and I sensed him, as I woke up to a fear-gripping darkness in my room. I only managed to say, “Jesus, save me!”

And He saved me!

Satan was defeated in his attempts to steal another soul that night.

I owe it all to Jesus!

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He rescued me not just from MY sins but also from ME. He gave me a new heart and filled it with love instead of hatred, compassion instead of resentment, and joy instead of depression!

As Jesus’ blood washed over my heart and mind, as His love began flowing throughout my heart, I was completely healed. Moreover, God gave me an ability to see my uncle through His eyes, as another human being who is a slave to sin and is desperately in need of Jesus.

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You see, dear heart, we live in a broken and sinful world.

Sin is what drives people to hate, to murder, to drug abuse, to fornication, to adultery, to pedophilia, to pornography, to slander, to gossip, to backstabbing, to do all that is abhorrent in the eyes of the most Holy God.

Sin was the root cause of my uncle’s pedophilia and sin was the cause of my hate, resentment and depression.

But God loved us so much that He gave LOVE… Wanting no one to perish but to have an everlasting life, He poured out his love on the cross, providing an atonement for OUR sin… (John 3:16)

When I accepted that gift and asked Him to be my Savior, He not only completely healed me, but also gave me the supernatural ability to forgive. And with forgiveness came freedom!

Peace

Yes, I am an overcomer. But I am an overcomer only because Jesus overcame and He lives in me!

“I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.” John 16:33

Have you been a victim of sexual abuse and in need of healing? I want to pray with you today. Bring all your pain and suffering to Jesus. He knows it all. With Him you WILL overcome!


Today, I hear many stories of sexual abuse that takes place in Christian families. These stories are extremely painful to hear, as my own experience gives me an ability to relate to the pain and suffering brought on by sexual abuse.

What’s even more painful to hear, is when the victim gets blamed for the abuse, or when the church (other believers) does not believe the victim’s allegations of abuse, especially when the perpetrator has a prominent position in the church – pastor, preacher, deacon, Sunday school teacher, etc.

Hearing so many stories, I wanted to shed some more light onto the situation. Not for the sake of notoriety, as some readers may perceive this to be, but for the sake of the many victims of sexual abuse.

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No matter how much we try to avoid the facts, sexual abuse does happen at the hands of professing believers in Jesus. It happens at the hands of the most “godly-appearing” men and women.

The victims of sexual abuse are often ashamed and blame themselves for the abuse. They often do not even confide in anyone for fear of retaliation, or believing that somehow this was their own fault.  This is particularly acute in children, as their intellect is not fully developed.

But whatever happens, we do not want to talk about it. I understand the issue is too painful to talk about for some and too embarrassing for others. All the while, our children are potential victims. Easy to prey upon because WE SIMPLY DO NOT TALK about it.

Is there anything we CAN do to protect our children?

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As a mother, bent on protecting my children from the same kind of pain I went through, I wanted to put them in bubble wrap and not let them out of the house until they become adults.

Yes, I know that’s very extreme. So, I let them have some freedom (going outside under my supervision and so on), but I also do everything I can to protect them from the evils of this world.

Recently I came across these two articles, which touch on some important strategies of child abuse prevention. I hope you will take some time to read both.
Why We Don’t Keep Secrets In Our House (Child Abuse Prevention)
Why My Family Doesn’t Do Sleepovers

While you may or may not agree with the above articles, I pray that these articles will stimulate discussions in your families about this issue.

Also, please, check out these two books which I highly recommend to read with either your girl or boy:

Sara Sue Learns to Yell and Tell” by Debi Pearl.

“Samuel Learns to Yell and Tell” by Debi Pearl.

I want to leave you with the Psalm I love to pray over my own children:

I lift up my eyes to the hills.
    From where does my help come?
My help comes from the Lord,
    who made heaven and earth.

He will not let your foot be moved;
    he who keeps you will not slumber.
Behold, he who keeps Israel
    will neither slumber nor sleep.

The Lord is your keeper;
    the Lord is your shade on your right hand.
The sun shall not strike you by day,
    nor the moon by night.

The Lord will keep you from all evil;
    he will keep your life.
The Lord will keep
    your going out and your coming in
    from this time forth and forevermore.
(Psalm 121)

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